Rose Umane: A Long Way Away from Home

My name is Rose and this is largely the story of my educational journey. My journey is one of continuous learning; understanding life through my eyes and expanding my knowledge through the eyes of others, both in and out of school. I hope you find reading about my journey as exciting as I felt telling it.  

Here I am, finally in the UK for my master’s degree in marketing. This, in itself, is a dream come true. It has been a long journey to get here, one filled with growing up in different states in Nigeria, acquiring an HND and then a BSc., working in different industries, and applying to schools only to suffer visa rejections.

Let’s just say it has been a long journey. But, now I’m here, my first day in Sunderland, the beginning of the next leg of my journey. I have arrived in my apartment from the airport, settled in, and am now able to relax, I can now heave a sigh of relief.

Now, here I am, chasing the next leg of my journey, starting day one in my new apartment, a long way away from home. 

If you’ve ever made the transition away from home, moving far away from family who you’ve been around for the majority of your life, the change alone can seem and feel daunting. It’s been two months, and I can say that it has gotten easier over time. Ironically, one of the things that have made it easier is that Nigeria made me really strong.

The environment that I grew up in instilled a “never backing down” attitude toward life in me, never dwelling on my failures, and always wanting to get more out of life. When you come from a country where nothing works to a country where everything works, you notice what it means to be comfortable. You notice that part of your drive is in having to fight for everything you have, including basic amenities.

Living in Nigeria is tough, but that toughness prepares you for life, that toughness prepares you for success.

That toughness prepared me to deal with life at my first job after I graduated. I got a job at one of the big commercial banks. It was a decent job with a good working environment, it felt like a good place to grow and build a career.

When I was hired, I was hired as a contract staff because I graduated from a polytechnic. At the time, it didn’t seem all bad, but as time went on, it was clear how much different acquiring those degrees can lead you in life. I was a second-class citizen in my own office. The contract staff was treated well below the salaried staff in terms of salary, welfare, bonuses, etc.

As a young graduate, it was a tough learning experience, one that took its toll emotionally on me. For me, I channelled those emotions and used them as the push to go back to school to acquire a BSc. I had to use the feeling of being tired because of the experiences I went through as fuel to achieve this new goal. 

To achieve this, the only option was to work on going back to school on a part-time basis, and thanks to my boss at the time, I could try to do it. So I searched for programs that I’d like and I ended up finding one in Ondo state, 5 hours away from Lagos without traffic! Thank God for my boss who would allow me Fridays off so that I could make the long journey to Ondo for classes, just to be back in time for work again on Monday.

As you can imagine, going through this on a weekly basis was tough, but it somehow made me happy. Knowing that I was doing this to get something better and improve myself made me feel good.  To make the experience even better, when I was rounding up, I got a job at an advertising firm that was going to pay me more than double my previous salary. It was a confirmation for me that I made the right decision.

Working at the advertising agency was an amazing experience, I got to learn so much on the job and I am always grateful for the opportunity but then something even better came up, I got the opportunity to work with a Media Tech company.  Moving to this company, I got the chance to work with people who were young, motivated, and doing amazing things; this experience changed my life. Working there, I got to understand that your environment impacts the things that you think and the things that you do 

Environment impacts the things that you think and the things that you do

One day, as I was preparing to leave after we had worked the whole day, my boss at the time asked me what my future plans were and if I was considering going abroad for school. I had never considered moving abroad, I could never afford the school fees. My boss asked me to at least do my research and see if there is anything out there for me.

I read stories of people like me, with the same academic backgrounds and less experience than I had garnered, who had gotten scholarships for their degrees abroad. Those stories motivated me to attempt to further my education abroad. 

In 2019, I began the process of researching and applying for schools and scholarships. Toward the end of the year, I received admission offers from three American colleges with two graduate assistantship offers. I could go to school abroad with the financial support I needed. Now all I had left to do was to get my visa and resume college in 2 weeks, I was on cloud 9. Shortly before Christmas, I went to the US embassy for my visa, and … it was DENIED. I almost couldn’t breathe, tears welled up in my eyes. “You do not have strong ties to your home country,” they said. What does that even mean? 

I went there with so much confidence and never even thought of the possibility of being denied. My journey back home felt unusually long, it felt like the longest flight I had ever been on. I had already shared the good news with friends and family, just for me to get denied at the final hurdle. How do I face them? What do I say?

I had to give my family the news of what had happened, in telling them, made my feelings worse. For days, and weeks, I couldn’t get myself out of bed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, eat or work, I just wanted to be alone in the darkness of my room. It was such a disappointment that the topic of studying abroad was forbidden in my home, and among my friends, I didn’t want to hear anything about it.

All I had and all I needed was time, time to heal. 

There were times that I thought that I’d only missed out on the application, then the graduate assistantship position that I lost would come back to my mind. I did not need to pay tuition and I was going to get a stipend for my living expenses, but all that did not work out. Then, I started thinking about the journey, from my boss mentioning the possibility of moving abroad to me and how it led to this awesome opportunity that got taken away by a sentence I still do not understand. 

‍Day after day, the weight of the pain reduced, and the feeling of disappointment dissipated. Slowly, the belief began to return; I could not let this failure define me, I needed to try again. The first option was to re-apply for the American visa, and that’s exactly what I did in March 2020, but then the pandemic happened, and I lost all, yes ALL, the offers I had been offered.

Back to square 1. Now, I needed a break from everything again. I decided I was going to give myself time to heal and not think about applications or scholarships for a while. That was the plan, but then one thing about me is that I love to improve, I love to grow and it was only a matter of time before I decided to try again. This time around, I decided to widen my options, to apply not only to the US but the UK and other European countries. Though I was more reserved about these applications, I still had some hope that something would work out. I had obtained two degrees and had a stellar work experience to go with it, something had to give. 

I applied and applied, and I got rejection after rejection. There was one rejection I got from a school in Germany that hurt. I applied for a Masters in Digital Marketing Strategy. Considering the bulk of my career was spent in that industry, it seemed to me like it was sure that I would get in, but I didn’t. My confidence was dented, 2020 coming to a close, waiting on responses from other universities, it all seemed gloomy. 2021 started, and the story was the same. That is, until an email came in that changed everything, an email from the University of Sunderland with an offer of admission.

Now, to get the visa. ‍

This time, I applied with caution. As much as I hoped I would get it, I already had experienced disappointment, cautious optimism was the way to go. I applied in faith, ready to accept any outcome. Luckily for me, this time, it all worked out perfectly, and as you already know, I got the visa, and I’m now here in the UK. 

After planning and hoping and praying for years to be able to achieve my dream of continuing my study abroad, here I am, in this apartment of mine, away from my family, all alone in a city called Sunderland. So, I call up a friend who is also in the UK, and she comforts me that she too had that feeling, but with time, it gets easier. Story of my life, we go again!

Ultimately, fulfillment is what I seek at the end of the day, that inner fulfillment that I did everything I could during my youth to achieve all I wanted to achieve. Now is the time to be ambitious and be all about achieving goals. Delays are part of the process, and I’ve had my fair share of it, but I believe that everything that has happened has been a confirmation that I am on the right path. 

I am excited about the future!